Christopher Hamilton

It’s a strange and very annoying feeling when you’re stuck, unable to move forward, and frustrated almost to the point of screaming.

At the moment there are lot’s of things I want to do but for one reason or another I don’t.

One of these is to finish and re-write my NaNoWriMo novel. It’s no where near finished, since as soon as I hit the 50k I stopped writing. I want to go back and redo large sections of it, but I keep on running into roadblocks. The main one is simply that I feel completely creatively stifled in my current flat. It’s not a great environment for someone who wants some piece and quiet to think.

More than that though I have another few ideas I want to write, but short of taking the laptop to a cafe, or a pub there’s no way they’re going to get written any time soon.

Another itch I can’t scratch, is playing the guitar. I haven’t played in months because every time I pick the thing up the thought that I’m going to be asked to play in my room, or not at all because there’s something on TV, goes through my head and I just decide to leave it.

In short, living with other people has begun to piss me off. I have no problem with making certain sacrifices to make living with friends an easier and more enjoyable experience, but sometimes you just need to be selfish and do what the hell you want.

Thankfully, there’s light at the end of this tunnel. I’ve made the first few adjustments to get myself moving again.

Yesterday I put a deposit on a new flat in Edinburgh, still renting unfortunately, where I’ll be able to do whatever I want. I can sit in the living room, with music quietly in the background and write without interruption. I can pick up the guitar and fire out a few songs without bothering anyone watching TV. I can watch and listen to what I like without having to okay it with other people first.

I can’t wait.

If/When the reference checks are finalised and come back okay it will mean that on January the 12th I’ll finally be in a place of my own.

It’s close to work, so there will be no traveling issues. It’s near a lot of my friends so it’s easy to meet up with them when I want, but with the extra special bonus of being able to go home, kick back and relax in peace.

In five short weeks I expect to be much more relaxed, and hopefully that feeling will filter through the rest of my life and allow me to finally do the things I’ve been putting off for some time.